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nraredneck
01-23-2003, 10:06 PM
2003 Kansas State FOOTBALL
RECRUITING PROSPECTS
ATHLETIC OFFICE NEWS RELEASE - NEW TEAM RECRUITS

Wayfroy P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Arkansas in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette in his helmet. Holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfroy can print his complete name.

Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Melrose High School, Charlotte, N.C. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm.

Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Tyler, Texas. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. But purple and white would DO! Listed his church preference as "red
brick".

Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From a 3rd generation welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother claims Woodrow and child number 9 have same father. He has a manslaughter trial pending, but feels he will be found innocent because "The dude said
something bad 'bout my Mamma." On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q.as 20-20.

Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an
Amtrack train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks
the N on Nebraska's helmets stands for "Nowledge", but still meets Kansas State's stringent entrance requirements. Insists on wearing number
32 jersey since it matches his score on his College Entrance Exam.

Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending
paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other 9
victims will file charges. Tyrone had already signed letters of intent
with six other colleges, but was also willing to sign with us. Likes
women and Cadillacs. Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.

Abdul Hasten Abba Ali: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school ball
under the name Sylvester Leroy Jones. Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Manhattan. Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear". (Doesn't know the meaning of many other words either.)

Note: K-State track coaches will use several of the above signees in the track program. However, instead of using a starting gun at track meets, they will be using a burglar alarm. This program has been borrowed from Nebraksa in light of thier recent performance.




:JW: :JW: :JW: :JW:

CookedGoose
01-23-2003, 11:26 PM
thats pretty funny.. whats your source?

WildGooseChase, I think its time to cook up somethin good in response to this..

WildGooseChase
01-23-2003, 11:54 PM
Well, we do our part to keep crime off the streets. Some of these other shools....wink..wink...need to take a lesson from us and stop recruiting these guys that are already in prison. We've found that it's generally the fastest ones that are still on the outside. There, the secret is out. I would say more but it's been a long night at Longhorns and I'm off to bed